Just Watch Me Disapear
by hotflower06
Summary: Bella returns from a visit with Renee but she seems different can she be saved from herself? or is she just going to disapear?
1. Bella returns

**Authors Note: this is a new twilight story I am writing**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight it is the property of Stephenie Meyer**

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EPOV

Bella walked across the shiny white linoleum making her way closer to where I was standing. When I saw her I waved her over, I noticed that Bella looked different from when I last saw her. Her cheeks were paler then usual, her face was covered with a glum expression and she looked more fragile. When she finally reached me she seemed spaced out. Alice's face seemed to turn to fear once she saw Bella, thoughts of Bella while I was gone flashed through my mind I twitched _why was she doing this?_

"Hey" Bella finally spoke in a tiny voice

"Hi love," I said leaning down giving her a tiny kiss she shivered at my touch. "Are you cold" I asked now noticing her baggy sweats. She shook her head

"Liar" Alice thought, I glared at her Bella was oblivious to this she was usually so observant. We walked over to get Bella's bags and left the airport. Bella was so tired that I dropped her off at her house this gave me a chance to talk to Alice.

"Alice why did you call Bella a liar?" I asked her

"She was" Alice said in an angry tone

"What do you mean?" she was frustrating me

"Bella was cold," answered Alice

"She probuly wasn't used to the cold she's been in the sun" I mumbled

"Everything is cold to her," she said in a monotone voice looking at the sky with a distant look.

"What do you mean?" I looked at her with a shocked look she lowered her face.

"She's sick" Alice said

"How are you sure?" I asked

"I know," she said

"How sick is she?" I asked trying to hide the fear in my voice

"Its curable" she said

"What does she have?" I asked in a whisper

"She's bulimic," said Alice, my face froze in shock Alice lifted her head giving me an apologetic expression.

AN: should I continue R R


	2. The Truth

**Authors Note: enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight it is the property of Stephenie Meyer**

BPOV 

You know I didn't used to feel like this, I felt fine because of him, Edward. But I guess seeing my mom again brought out the monster in me. The one that destroys my hopes and dreams, the one that makes me feel worthless. When I found out, it was to late I was gone. It started with the feeling of being bloated then it became a regular routine. And now it's so regular that the taste is always in my mouth like acid burning my throat. All I see is a zombie in the mirror not me, a fragile skeleton like I could break any second. 

I never thought I was fat, I have always been thin I used to be a health nut mom used to tease me about it. She was the one who noticed, I was cold even with the sun beating on me. Im sure they will notice

I jumped out of the shower the water was still running down my shrinking fame, I checked in the mirror there where now permanent circles under my eyes. After I changed into my pajamas I walked to my bedroom the whole way holding onto the wall to keep my balance.

**AN: I know it was short **


	3. Passed Out

**Author's Note: Wow it feels like ages since I continued this story**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight it is the property of Stephenie Meyer**

**CPOV (Charlie's)**

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As soon as I got off from work I went straight home excited to see Bella again. When I entered the house I was surprised to see no dinner out or no Bella. I searched around for a note that might say she was over at the Cullen's or at Jacob's. But to my dismay no not could be found.

Maybe she was napping upstairs, a plane ride can take a lot out of you or so I heard. I went into the kitchen to grab some soup and put it in the microwave to cook while I finished my search for Bella.

As I climbed the stairs I noticed the bathroom light was on, I don't remember leaving it on so she must have done it. As I walked to her bedroom my feet bumped into something. I looked down to see Bella asleep; she must have been really tired.

I picked her up and brought her to her bed so she would sleep more comfortably. As she slept I noticed the bags under her eyes (Probably from Renee's late night partying). And the tint of blue on her lips then I noticed she was shivering even though she was wrapped in sweats her hair was a little damp from her late night shower.

Then the beeping of the microwave went off, I left the room glancing one last look at Bella before I left. And ran down to the kitchen and was greeted by some good old chicken soup.

Halfway through my meal I heard a knock on the door and got up. As I walked toward the door I could hear a conversation.

"I told you she isn't up," said a female voice

"Well I need to check on her," said a frustrated male voice

"You can later," said the female voice now also frustrated

"But I need to know she is fine," complained the male voice

"She is fine," said the female voice

"She needs me," said the male voice

"Edward if you get near her you will kill her, right now we can only wait until she is ready," said the female

I decided to finally open the door

"Sorry I was just watching the game," I lied

"No problem Charlie, how are you?" Alice asked, always the polite one

"Im doing great how about you?" I asked smiling at her

"Im doing fabulous," she said smiling

"And you?" I asked turning toward Edward

"Fine Sir," he answered

"Im guessing you're here for Bella, Alice but it seems that plane ride exhausted her. When I got home she was spread out in the floor, she couldn't even make it to her bedroom," I said

I noticed Edward's scared look then I turned back to Alice and all I saw was a blank stare in her eyes.

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**AN: I will only update if I can get at least 2 reweiws**


	4. Mistake

**Author's Note: Im glad people are enjoying this story. So here's chapter 4 of Just Watch Me Disappear!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight**

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APOV

One moment im talking to Charlie the next im having a vision

…. Vision

Where I was the walls were white so I knew I was in the hospital. I saw a doctor (Not Carlisle) talk to Edward.

"Well it looks like she will need to be put in critical care," said a doctor

"What do you mean? Is she going to be ok?" asked Edward

"I suppose but you never know with these things, I'll just say it's lucky you found her in time," said the doctor in an uncaring voice.

_What happened to Bella?_ I thought

"Can I see her?" asked Edward

"I guess but she is a sleep," said the doctor

_How can he seem so calm?_ I thought glaring at the doctor

"Tom I'll take it from here," said Carlisle interrupting

Then the vision ended….

"Alice dear are you ok?" asked Charlie looking at me with concern

"Yes im fine I just spaced out," I said

_Edward, Bella needs you!_ I mentally said to Edward

With that Edward left the house and snuck upstairs to rescue Bella.

"What's he in a rush for?" asked Charlie after Edward left

"Uh he left the iron on," I said

_Wow that sounds corny sorry Edward_ I thought looking up at the ceiling.

"Ok," he said not convinced

I heard Edward whisper for me to come

"Sorry I got to go," I said running out the door where Edward and Bella were.

"Ok let's go to Carlisle," he said looking down at Bella.

"Good idea," I said, we started running

"Alice how long has this been going on?" he asked me

"I don't know, it's not like she decided she would do this," I said

"True but why would she do this?" he asked

"Being a teenage girl is hard especially now a days," I answered; we were now at the house.

We walked inside the house to Carlisle's office and opened the door with out knocking.

"Sorry," we said at the same time

"It's ok," Carlisle, said putting away some files, "What happened to her?" he asked his voice filled with concern as he walked over to check Bella.

"Careful she's fragile," Edward said

""She seems thinner then I remember," Carlisle said checking her over

"Yeah she hasn't been eating that well," I said

"Well I she's fine right now she just collapsed from exhaustion," said Carlisle

"So she won't need to go to the hospital?" I asked

"No just make sure she regains the weight slowly," he said

"So Alice you got me worried for nothing?" asked Edward

"What can I say it was a mistake," I said

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AN: I know it's short but I hope you enjoyed it!


	5. Into The Darkness Frightening Screams

**Author's Note: Here's chapter 5! And I will start being more descriptive about the story.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight that is the property of Stephenie Meyer**

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BPOV

I felt like I was covered in darkness a feeling I had felt many times I knew I had fainted. The last thing I could clearly remember was taking a shower, _did I fall in the shower? _My mind asked scared at that thought of drowning or even worse being found naked in the shower.

Instead of getting a proper answer I heard giggling a sound that was familiar to me but I couldn't name whom it was coming from.

"Who are you?" I spoke aloud, my voice both clear and even to my surprise.

"I am you," spoke the voice, again she had a fit of giggles

"What's so funny?" I asked feeling self-conscious as she continued giggling

"The scared look on your face, I can't hurt you unless you tell me to," said the voice as she emerged from the shadows, she looked just like me but paler, more beautiful, and with red eyes.

I stared wide mouth at her I knew what those red eyes meant either she was a newborn vampire or she drank human blood. In realization of this I backed away from her shaking I nearly fell down twice. I backed as far away as I could until I felt an ice-cold wall push behind my back I shivered at the contact.

"Silly girl you can't run away from me you made me," she said walking towards my shaking/shivering form. I wished like anything then that if this was a dream that I could wake up and find myself in Edward's arms but no matter what I couldn't escape.

"What do you want?" I asked staring at her wide eyed as she moved closer to me.

She wrapped her pale hands around my wrist and pulled me towards her, for a second I believed she was going to pull me into a hug. Instead her grip on my wrist tightened shooting pain traveled all through me I screamed in agony.

"I thought you said you couldn't hurt me," I whimpered as her grip grew tighter, I was waiting for the snap of my wrist but it never came because she loosened her grip and let my hands drop to my sides.

"I can't unless you say so," she said through clenched teeth

"What do you mean by that? I don't want to get hurt?" I asked confused, she stared at me frustrated.

"Make up your mind! Do you wanna live or die?" she asked frustrated then with a sudden jolt I was against the wall again. "Die it is," she laughed walking back over to me an evil smile spread across her face and her red eyes ravenous.

I shook with fear as her figure came closer; I closed my eyes so that I wouldn't have to see her red eyes again and maybe block out the pain. I stood there, my eyes closed waiting for the fire that would send me slowly into the pits of hell. Time progressed slowly and getting tired of the wait I opened my eyes to see she was nowhere to be found.

"Are you there?" I whispered knowing if she really were a vampire she could hear me. When I got no reply I ran into the shadows looking for away out.

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EPOV

Bella laid on the gold comforter of my bed, her body laid still not even moving an inch and no words came from her lips.

Even though Carlisle told me she would be all right and that it was just the exhaustion getting to her. I couldn't wipe away the vision that Alice had recently the one that made me believe I was really truly going to lose Bella this time.

Bella began to move her tiny body shifted and then went into a deeper sleep, but before she went deeper into sleep a frown spread across her face.

"But I don't wanna die," she said in her sleep and then she began crying. She said other things but her words became jumbled with her tears and even with my vampire hearing I couldn't understand her. Her tears became whimpers and I thought it was over but that's when she started screaming.

As soon as the screams started Carlisle, Alice, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett entered the room.

Carlisle went over to check on her, "Edward did you bite her?" he asked me, looking at me with concern in his eyes. Everyone else turned to me with different emotions in their eyes but I didn't need to have Jasper's power to know what they were feeling their thoughts were enough.

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AN: hope you enjoyed the chapter! I know it's short and I hope that was descriptive enough Hope. Flies.


	6. Awake

**Author's Note: Here's another chapter yippee! By the way Hope. Flies I don't know how do get a beta reader but you can be mine. And thanks again for the review I'll try and get better at my writing.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

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BPOV

I found myself still trapped in the darkness lying on the cold cement floor. I could smell blood but I wasn't sure where it was coming from. But instead of my usual fainting I stayed awake as my eyes adjusted I noticed a figure leaning against the wall.

"Glad you finally woke up sweetie," she said kneeling beside me.

"Who are you?" I asked my senses still muggy from sleep

"Have you forgotten already? Im you," she said, "You must have hit your head worse then I thought," she said smiling.

"What do you mean?" I asked trying to get up but couldn't, I let out a groan as pain ran through my body.

"I wouldn't move if I was you, unless you like the pain," she said her smile growing into a huge grin, which made my heart accelerate. "I have an idea," she said leaning down her lips on my neck.

Then I felt her teeth dig into my neck and let out a scream.

_Please wherever I am save me!_ I thought before once again my mind left my body and I was sucked back into the dark.

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APOV

It all happened so quickly one second she's asleep next she wont stop bleeding. My family and I watched as she was pulled away from us on an operating table.

Time had seemed to stop up from the second she began screaming and bleeding to the moment we were experiencing right now.

"He promised she would be alright!" shouted Edward, punching the wall. Luckily not hard enough to leave a dent, but his yelling did get him a lot of attention.

"She will be," I whispered not looking at him as I just stared at the door.

"How are you sure? You say she wont be ok but she is. Then you say she will be ok and she isn't. What am I supposed to believe Alice? If she dies in their who else will I have? She's my life , my everything and I can't lose her and I know that some of you don't care," Edward said starting to calm down, glaring at Rosalie.

"If your talking about me Edward, then you should know why I can't stand her!" hissed Rosalie glaring back.

"Ok you too, now isn't the time to fight," said Emmett also staring at the glass emergency door with a distant expression.

"Emmett's right," said Esme putting her hand on Edward's and Rosalie's shoulder in a motherly gesture.

"She's been through so much that this little thing will be no danger," said Jasper calmly.

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BPOV

She pulled away from my neck and stared at me with her blood red eyes.

"Now that wasn't so bad was it?" she asked putting her index finger against my lip.

I whimpered in pain against her finger, "Shhh," she said removing her finger from my bruised lip. "Now no more screaming," she said

She stood up and left, and then she came back holding a pocketknife and a red cloth. "Not that you would be able to scream," she laughed.

_Please!_ I begged

She wrapped the cloth over my mouth and pulled the knife against my bloody neck.

"Now this will hurt a lot, but not enough to kill you," she said smiling at me.

Before her knife striked my throat she disappeared with the black room and was replaced with the white rooms of the hospital.

I tried to move but my body wouldn't budge then my nose was filled with the scent of salt and rust.

"She's awake," said Carlisle

"Uh where am I?" I asked my throat dry and rough

"Your in the hospital, you woke up during surgery," he said, "Dr Snow please go and inform my family she is awake," he said

"Right away Dr," Dr Snow said

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**AN: I know it's short and I am really sorry about updating late!**


	7. A Singing And Dancing Edward

**Author's Note: Here's another chapter yippee**

**Author's Note: Here's another chapter and by the way from July 9th to August 20th I will not be here. So don't expect another update till the end of August, sorry if im sounding harsh.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight that is the property of Stephenie Meyer**

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EPOV (Edward)

_She's awake_ Carlisle said to me through his thoughts

Hearing those words brought me back from my thoughts and back to the present, I couldn't help but get up and dance.

APOV

I just had a vision and it went like this in a few seconds Edward would hear Carlisle tell him that Bella was ok then he would do something I couldn't help but laugh.

JPOV

Alice was having a vision but halfway through she began laughing so hard that she was holding her sides and leaning against the wall.

"What is it Alice?" I asked trying to calm her down

"Edward," she giggled

"Huh Edward what?" asked my dumb brother I mean Emmett

"Just wait," Alice said

We turned towards my depressed brother waiting for what was about to happen. Edward was leaning against the wall thinking very deeply probably about Bella because all he felt was regret. Then suddenly he jumped up and began singing and dancing.

"She's awake she's awake!" he sang, and then Edward ran over to Rosalie and give her a hug.

I have to say it was a little scary, then a doctor walked over

"She's awake," the doctor said, _so that's why Edward was singing_ I thought.

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**AN: I know it's short and random, it's kind of a filler while I think over the story.**


	8. Recovery In Bed

**Author's Note: Here's a new chapter enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight that is the property of Stephenie Meyer**

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BPOV

My body felt like I was ran over by Emmett's jeep, I felt worse then after James attacked me. All I could see as I lay in my hospital bed was the white ceiling.

"Bella?" asked Edward he came over to my bed

"Yeah?" I asked in a raspy voice turning my face towards his.

"It's gotten worse," he said

"I know," I said

"What happened?" he asked

"Things," I said turning my head towards the window, a sudden pain in my neck made me cringe.

"What things?" he asked concerned

"Edward now is not the time," I hissed

"Something's wrong this isn't you," he said turning my face towards him again.

"I know," I whispered, "Edward im scared," my eyes began to fill with tears.

"Don't worry im here," he said giving me a kiss on my forehead.

"I know," I said, Edward wiped my loose tears away with his fingers.

"But I can only help if you tell me why you are doing this," Edward said

"Ok," I said

"Why did you start doing this to your self?" asked Edward

"When I went to Phoenix and told people about you, they didn't believe me. They couldn't believe a loser like me could ever have a guy like you," I said but was interrupted by Edward

"Your not a loser," he said, "A klutz maybe but you're my klutz," he said smiling at me.

I could feel my lips forming into a smile the first smile I had in a while.

"Continue," he said

"Anyway they convinced me I was a loser, then said it must have been my body that you liked," I said I could feel the blush rising to my cheeks. "But then they said it couldn't be that because I was ugly," I said

"Your not ugly, your beautiful," said Edward kissing my forehead again

"Oh really? Then why do I look in the mirror and see someone I don't like, I want to be beautiful!" I cried sitting up; he pulled me into a hug.

"Bella you will see the truth soon I promise," he said before I collapsed again into a pit of darkness.

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AN: I know it's short


	9. Flashback Part 1 Home Sweet Home

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Author's Note: I am so sorry about not updating sooner! This is a flashback by the way so enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I wished I own Twilight but I don't**

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(Flashback)

BPOV

I just got off the plane; I already missed Edward how was I supposed to survive two weeks without him! I looked on the bright side, at least I would see mom I hadn't seen her since last year after James attacked me.

I looked down at the crescent moon on my right palm, a constant reminder of the dangers of Edwards's kind.

Once I was through security I grabbed my bag and headed towards the little airport café where I would meet mom.

As soon as I saw her I speeded up as fast as I could without tripping, all my thoughts of missing Edward going out the door.

"Bella!" she said once she saw me, I sat down next to her

"Hi mom!" I said giving her a hug

"I've missed you so much, how have you been?" asked Renee

"Good," I answered

"Good as in normal good? Or good as in really good?" asked Renee, _always the curious_ I thought laughing.

"Really good," I said smiling

"Edward," she guessed

I nodded

"I knew he was more than just a crush," she smiled

"Yeah, I guess I can't hide it," I said

"Why hide it? Young love is wonderful," Renee said taking a sip from her coffee "I remember my first love," she said in a distant voice.

"Who?" I asked, though I already knew the answer

"Charlie," she began her eyes now didn't look so distant "But that was only first love, now what Phil and I have is true love," she said smiling

"That reminds me where's Phil?" I asked

"In Florida he has a few more games before the season ends," she answered

"Oh," I said _poor mom she must be lonely_

"He really wished he could be here," she said in a motherly tone

"Its fine, anyway I have so much to tell you," I said

"I can't wait to hear it," she said "aw man the coffees gone," she said looking into her Styrofoam coffee cup.

"Well we should head home then, so you can have more right?" I asked getting up from my chair

"Let's wait," she said, I sat back down "Aren't you hungry?" she asked

I shook my head

"Did you eat on the plane?" she asked again

"No but I eat before I went on," I said

She looked up from her empty cup in a concerned look

"It was a big breakfast," I lied

"Ok," she said getting up "Let's go, I rearranged some of the furniture," she began "I read in a magazine it helps make the room look larger, I'm not sure if it does though," she said unsurely

"I'll tell you," I said

We were now in the parking lot

"Where did I put my car," Renee said to herself

I knew she found her car when she continued talking again "Oh and tonight the Shelly's are coming over," she said as she pulled out of the car park.

"The Shelly's?" I asked

"You know, um what's her face," she said snapping her fingers as she tried to figure out the girls name. "Clarissa!," she said once she got the name

"Clarissa? That doesn't ring a bell," I said confused

"She's the tall blond in your year, remember you used to hang out with her?" asked mom as she tried to jog my memory.

_Oh! She means the snotty blond who, made fun of me because I wasn't fashionable, she s like Lauren but much worse,_ I thought.

"Oh her," I said after a few minutes

"Yep, anyways she's become pretty famous over here; she started a band with the Branch twins and Sophie Brown. I know her parents from PTA meetings and we've become pretty close," Renee said.

We pulled into our street and I saw the familiar houses and shops go by, then we pulled into the driveway.

"Home sweet home," I said looking at the brown two story house_, this is where I grew up_ I thought.

"Did you miss it?" asked mom looking at me

"Of course," I said still looking at the house

We got out of the car and walked into the house, everything seemed the same, the smell, the pictures on the wall, even the flowers in the pots.

Renee put her keys on the table by the door "Your stuff hasn't been touched," she said then she turned her attention to the answering machine.

I headed upstairs with my duffle bag to give her privacy; I opened the first door on the left and entered. Everything looked the way I left it last year nothing was touched though why would I have expected it. Maybe my mind lately had been so caught up in the supernatural that I had forgotten my normal human past.

I pushed my duffle under my bed, all that was in there was toiletries and underwear, because all my summer clothes had been left here, I turned on the computer in the corner, this one was much faster than the one at Charlie's which I was grateful for.

I turned on the web browser and searched through my email, most was junk but one was from Edward, I opened it.

From: (Edward)

To: (Bella)

Subject: Miss You Already!

I miss you my angel

Please take care of yourself and my heart

Love you always,

Edward

I replied back quickly, talking about my trip and how much I missed him and loved him. I sighed as I sent off the email.

"Bella!" shouted Renee

I walked down to where she was in the kitchen, she had changed since I last saw her, her short hair was up in a bun and she wore a red blouse and black pants.

"Yes?" I asked

"They should be here in thirty minutes," she said

I nodded and ran back upstairs, and rummaged through my closet, after a few minutes I found a blue blouse and navy pants. Then I ran a brush through my hair and put on a thin blue headband, finally I added blue studs. I debated on wearing a bit of makeup but I didn't want it to seem I was kissing up to Clarissa because I wasn't.

As soon as I put on my navy ballet flats I ran back downstairs to the dining room to help my mom set up. Once we were done the doorbell rang

_They're here_ I thought

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AN: Hoped you liked it!


	10. Flashback Part 2 Snap Desision

Flashback Part 2

BPOV

"Hi, welcome," Renee said as Clarissa and her parents entered the tiny house, I helped Renee put the food out on the table.

"Oh, Bella is that you?" asked Clarissa eying my offit _I knew I over did it_ I thought looking at her orange tank and white miniskirt and flip flops.

"Yep it's me Clarissa," I answered turning my eyes away from her

"Wow, you haven't changed a bit, well you're a bit curvier and taller but that's it," Clarissa stated.

I looked down at myself, my chest was only a 32 B, and my butt wasn't big,_ wait a second why would I care, Edward doesn't so why should I? _I asked myself.

"I guess not, but you haven't changed that much as well," I said to Clarissa

"Excuse me? I got new highlights, my hair is shorter, and I'm part of a band," she sneered

I rolled my eyes

"Oh good you two are getting along," Renee said coming into the dining room with Clarissa's parents.

I smiled a tight smile

"Of course Renee I just adore Bella," Clarissa said to Renee casually.

"Well then you must already heard of Edward," Renee said

"Who?" asked Clarissa

"My boyfriend," I said

"Boyfriend? Wow!" Clarissa said loudly her hands were tight around her glass and I could tell she was trying not to say something nasty with Renee around.

"Yes, we've been dating for a year," I smiled before biting into the food.

"Good for you," Clarissa said trying to sound sincere.

I smiled, trying to add fuel to the fire "but you must have some guy right now too right?" I asked.

"No she's single right now, trying to settle down on her studies," Clarissa's mom said.

"Oh," I said looking down at my food with a smile.

After an hour of talking about random rumors that had been going on in the high school and town, Clarissa and I walked into the living room.

"I can't believe you have a boyfriend," she sneered running her manicured nails through her short blonde hair.

"I can't believe you don't," I said back

"The boys here are so immature you must remember right?" Clarissa asked sitting down on the arm of one of the chairs.

I nodded, I did remember but I also remembered how she went through guys, a new one every week.

"That's never stopped you," I said to her

"Oh Bella I was young," Clarissa said shaking her head at me

I rolled my eyes it had only been a little over a year since I left Phoenix to move to Forks.

"Any ways let's get back to you, so tell me more about this Edward," Clarissa said leaning towards me as I sat across from her on the big blue couch.

"He's the most amazing guy I've ever met," I said

Clarissa looked like she wanted more information about Edward, "what's he look like?" she asked

"Bronze hair, topaz eyes, and pale skin," I answered looking at a photo behind her.

"Topaz eyes?" she asked

I pulled out a photo of him and me from my pocket and handed it to her. The difference between us was huge; he was the model while I looked so average and normal.

"Wow," Clarissa said after a few minutes of staring at the photo then slowly handed it back to me.

"Amazing isn't he?" I asked looking at the photo now

"How did someone so average like you end up with such a hottie like him?" asked Clarissa

"I don't know," I answered truthfully

"I mean he should be dating someone like me but no he's dating you!" Clarissa said pointing at me "this is so absurd," she said.

"He chose me though," I said to her "out of all the girls in my school he chose me," I finished.

"He's either gay or he's cheating," Clarissa said "after all your so normal even with your chest you still couldn't make a guy happy," she said.

I looked down at my chest again, and I could feel my tears coming to my eyes. _What she was saying was all lies_ I knew that yet it still hurt.

I got up "I'll be right back," my voice cracked but I didn't care, I ran up to my room and for the next twenty minutes I cried my eyes out.

I knew I had begun to believe Clarissa's words when I woke up the next morning. I was tucked in my bed so Renee must have come in sometime last night.

When I got up the first thing I saw was my reflection it didn't help that my hair looked like a haystack and my eyes were pink from crying. But to add to what I saw in the mirror I could swear my cheeks looked chubbier then they did yesterday, _strange_ I thought _I hadn't eaten that much._

AN: Ok I know it's short but still I hoped you enjoyed it


	11. Bella's Promise

BPOV

I opened my eyes, I was back at Charlie's but I was still under critical watchful eyes, and I would be until my family trusted I had recovered. I sat up feeling my body ache as if I was run over, my joints were sore and I was starving but the thought of food only made me want to puke.

'_Do you want to live or die?'_ asked the familiar haunting voice

I shook off the nightmares and concentrated on getting out of bed, using my arms I tried to push myself out of bed. After a few tries and continually failing my bedroom door flew open and Alice entered.

"Morning Bella!" the cheery pixie like vampire said

"Morning," I said with a tired smile

"Here let me," Alice said picking me up and carrying me down the stairs easily as if I weighed only a few pounds. She placed me gently in a kitchen chair, in front of sat all sorts of breakfast food form plain cereal and milk to sausage and egg.

"Bon appetite," Alice said in a French accent

"Alice I can't possible eat all this," I said to her

"True, but at least there's a lot to choose from," she said

I nodded and placed some egg and sausages on my plate and stared at it.

"Just eat Bella, you'll feel better," Alice promised

I lifted my fork and stabbed a piece of sausage, but before it came to my mouth I dropped the fork and pushed the plate away. "No I can't," I said.

"Bella, please," begged Alice

I got up "maybe later," I headed to get a shower, but I fell down

"Bella you need to eat," Alice said coming to my side with my plate and fork "if not I'll have to force feed you and I'm sure you don't want that," she said.

I tried to move away but I was grabbed by cold and strong arms "Bella listen, Edward is out hunting he feels horrible about this. He's blaming himself, you don't want that do you?" asked Emmett _I didn't know he was here too, but he was right I didn't want Edward to blame himself._

I nodded, Emmett slowly let me go I grabbed on to Alice's extended hand and got up.

I ended up back in front of the pile of food; I picked up my fork and closed my eyes and swallowed the first piece of sausage.

"I'm not that bad of a cook am I?" asked Alice I knew she was joking, but I still felt bad. The next sausage I let it sit on my tongue letting the flavor spread around in my mouth then I swallowed. After a few more bites I began to enjoy it, after I finished the sausage I eat an egg.

"Done," I said pushing back the plate, Alice picked up the plate to wash it.

"I can do it," I told her getting up, she handed me the plate and I scrubbed it clean while she saved the rest of the food in plastic containers.

"Thank you Bella," Alice said to me, after we had cleaned the kitchen, I smiled up at her. Then I realized Emmett was missing.

"He left," Alice said noticing my confusion

"Thanks for taking care of me Alice, I know sometimes I can be a pain," I said to her

"This was nothing," Alice motioned to the pile of containers now in the fridge "anyways we're family now and family stick together, just don't do this again," she said to me.

"I won't," I promised

AN: Sorry it's short and I haven't updated in ages, I am trying. Hoped you enjoyed and hopefully the next chapter will be out before the new year!


	12. Broken Promises

Author's Note: first off I know some of you are furious with me over the last chapter, I know she shouldn't have been better that quickly, and she won't as you will soon see. I may not have ever had an eating disorder, so I will not know the exact science of it. So go ahead and flame me if you must, I'm trying to make the story have a happier ending for some, and I don't want it to be all angst. Though I do prefer writing angst, because I feel I'm better with it then writing something funny. I'm only 15 so I don't know as much as some and I'm trying my best to reach out to everyone in this story. Once I'm finished it I will rewrite it chapter by chapter like I'm trying with Let's Not Waste Another Minute. I know I need a Beta, but I guess right now I'm either too busy or too lazy to look for one. I enjoy critique just as much as compliments and I try to fix my mistakes. Hopefully those who didn't enjoy the chapter will soon warm up to this story again if not, I'm sorry to have upset you. For the rest who don't mind the last chapter, thank you and I hope you will enjoy this one as well!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

BPOV

I felt horrible, _had I really stuffed my face with sausages and eggs? How low had I gone? I swore to myself never to touch a fatty thing again. Who knew Emmett could be so damn persuasive?_ I thought as I lied on the couch as Alice sat in the arm chair flipping through channels.

"Don't you dare Bella you promised," Alice said stopping on a shopping channel

"What are you talking about Alice?" I asked but it came out a grumble

"You were debating on throwing up your breakfast, after you swore you wouldn't," Alice said

"I can do whatever I want to," I said to her

"Not when it comes to your death," Alice said

"You're not the boss of me," I said jumping up from my seat, I got up a little too fast and I became light headed as my blood rushed to my head.

"Bella you don't think you can outrun me do you?" she asked me

"Let go of me!" I shouted at her trying to release myself from her iron grip

"No Bella! This is serious remember what Emmett said earlier?" she asked me

"I remember, but does it actually matter? I'm already a mess; Edward could have anyone he wanted. Anyone prettier than me! Why doesn't he go date Carissa or something she's pretty for god's sake why does he choose me?" I asked

"Because he loves you and he doesn't want anyone else," said Alice

"I'm not pretty Alice, is he blind? I'm fat and ugly, I don't deserve him!" I cried

"Bella shh, you're becoming hysterical should I call Jasper?" she asked

Before I could answer she took out her cell phone

"Jaz can you come here, Bella's become hysterical…" Alice said before I pulled the phone out of her hand.

"Don't come!" I shouted into the phone then closed it

"Bella," Alice said her eyes shocked

I felt myself panting "I-can't-breathe," I said then everything turned black.

"You finally choose," said the dark voice

"I thought you were gone," I said to her, my strength had finally been regained and I had slept peacefully the past week.

"No, I was only gone for a while, waiting for your decision and finally you've decided, now it's time for your death," she hissed.

I ran from her, running my hand along the wall looking for something but I wasn't sure what. Maybe a light switch or doors handle. Soon my fingers came upon a door handle and I turned it un afraid of what was inside after all anything could be better than my personal hell.

When the door opened I was engulfed in light, I was blinded by it everything was white.

"Why do you keep changing your decision?" she hissed at me I turned to her she was glaring at me her burgundy eyes stayed lost in the darkness.

"Because I don't know my decision either," I answered surprised at my answer

"Bella?" called a voice, it sounded familiar but I couldn't figure it out

"Please Bella wake up!" cried another voice it was deep, I realized it belonged to Charlie

"We're losing her," said Carlisle

"No Bella baby wake up!" Charlie cried

"She isn't responding," another softer and warmer voice said that could only belong to Esme.

"I thought she listened what happened?" asked Emmett his voice filled with confusion and worry.

"She became hysterical, then she fainted," the earlier voice said which could only be matched to Alice.

"Why is she doing this?" Charlie continued crying

"One last chance Bella, your dying do you want to live or die?" asked the voice

I turned to the voice now she stood in the light, sparkling she began walking towards me.

"I want to live," I said to her

"Good choice," she said then she kissed my head

I felt the air rush back into my lungs and I gasped, my eyes opened.

I noticed I was surrounded by Charlie, Carlisle, Emmet, Esme, Alice, Rosalie, and Jasper and Edward who were talking silently in the corner.

"Bella!" cried Charlie pulling me into a hug

I was still panting and his tight hug was cutting off my air supply

"Give her some space Charlie she's still very fragile," said Carlisle

"Don't do that again Bella," Rosalie said shocking me

"I'll try," I said, I knew I wasn't capable of promises just yet

"We'll let you rest for now starting tomorrow we are putting you back on a liquid diet until we are positive you can feed yourself," Carlisle said seriously.

Everyone left except Edward who slowly walked over to me

"Bella, I love you because you make me feel alive again. Because you make my existence that much better, because I can finally smile again. Because you see the good in me when I can't, I don't care if you're a danger magnet it gives me more chances to protect you. I don't care if you'll never be as gorgeous as Rosalie, your already pretty and catch every guy's eye even if you can't tell. I don't care if you blush uncontrollably or if your heart races fast whenever I'm near you. I don't care if I'll never be able to read your mind because I'm starting to be able to read it on your face. I don't mind that sometimes your hormones get the best of you, it keeps me on my toes," he said walking towards me.

"Why are you saying all this?" I asked him, confused at his confession

"Because it's all the truth, I know you fee l you can't match up to me I feel the same with you. That I will never match up to you that you are too good for me. But Bella when it comes down to it, we were meant to be together so don't let some stupid girl make you believe otherwise because I will always love you no matter what," he said to me.

"I'll always love you and I'm sorry for being an idiot," I apologized

"You're no idiot, and I know love now try and rest," he said kissing my cheek.

"Will you stay?" I asked

"As long as you like," he said

"Forever," I whispered before falling into a deep sleep

AN: Hope you enjoyed it! Also this isn't the traditional anorexic story because of the creepy vampire Bella. So it's a bit different but I hope this is more to your liking.


	13. Apoligies

**Author's Note: here's chapter 13 enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

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BPOV

I woke up to the beeping of the heart monitor _I'm still alive at least_ I thought as I felt the aches in my body.

"Morning love," Edward said as I opened my eyes

"Morning," I said, my thought was dry

"Are you hungry? Or thirsty?" he asked me

_Are you kidding?_ I asked myself

He didn't wait for my answer instead he pressed the button to call the nurse

"Yes?" the nurse asked

"Bella needs more fluids," he answered

"Right away sir," she answered

"Bella!" mom called as she entered the room

"Hey mom," I said trying to smile but I felt too limp

"Sweetie don't do that again! I thought something was up, but Phil told me not to worry," she said her face creased with worry.

"I'm sorry you have to see me like this," I apologized then motioned to the needles and wires.

"Oh sweetie," she said kissing my head

"When did you get in?" I asked changing the topic

"Last night, I would have come earlier but Charlie assured me you were in good hands." Renee said glaring out the window

"I am in good hands, this is my fault," I said

"It's not all your fault, I swear if I knew Clarisa could be so mean I wouldn't have invited her over," Renee said. Her fist clenched in anger

"Who told you?" I asked

"Edward did," she answered turning to Edward who sat on the other side of my bed

"I'm sorry but she had the right to know," answered Edward

"Thank you," I said to him, smiling gently.

Edward smiled back, but it didn't reach his eyes, which seemed darker then yesterday.

"I'm going to call Phil and tell him your awake," Renee said before exiting the room she kissed my forehead again.

"I thought you hunted yesterday," I said to Edward when my mom left.

"I tried but I found no enjoyment out of it, I will hunt later," he promised.

"I'm sorry," I apologized again

"Don't be," he said then he moved out of the way as the nurse changed my fluids.

"This should make you feel better," the nurse said smiling a gentle smile "Dr. Cullen will be in here in a second," she said before leaving.

Right on time, Carlisle entered the room with a clipboard in his hand "good morning Bella," he said to me as he checked my fluids.

"Good morning," I replied

"How are we this morning?" he asked turning to me

"A bit achy but that's it," I answered

"No headache? You took a pretty big fall," he said as he checked my vision and hearing.

"No, I'm fine," I answered

"Only aches, I'll get you some pain killers," said Carlisle before leaving the room "oh and Edward your brothers want to take you hunting, meet them by the jeep," he said then he left.

"I should go; Alice is coming to keep you company. Please try not to upset her she felt horrible yesterday," Edward pleaded before leaving.

"I'm sorry about that," I said to him

"Don't forget I love you," he said before I could reply he left, and then Alice appeared.

"Bella its fine," Alice said before I could apologize

"At least let me say sorry," I said to her

"You have, anyways I suppose I provoked you and I'm sorry as well," she apologized.

"How long will I be in here?" I asked

"You make it sound like prison," she said

"Alice," I said waiting for her answer

"A few weeks, maybe longer or less, depends if your good or not," Alice answered

"I can't believe what kind of mess I'm in," I said to her

"I know, but no matter what happens we're all here, including Rosalie," Alice said

"Rosalie?" I asked, I knew she was worried yesterday but I thought she was because of other reasons "why?" I asked

"She doesn't want you throwing your life away, which none of us want," Alice said

I sighed "everything keeps getting weirder," I said

"Yeah, I suppose that's life," Alice said, I don't remember her ever being so calm "when your better we will make up all those shopping trips your missing," she said excitedly _now that's Alice_ I thought.

"Oh come on!" I exclaimed

"What? You're my life size barbie remember?" she asked grinning

"How can I forget?" I asked

"And for a while you'll need better hospital clothing then those rags they give you," Alice said scrunching her nose in disgust.

"Ok I don't mind that," I said when I glanced down at what I was wearing

Alice smiled, "Only this time," I added

"Sure, I'll convince you somehow," she said

"Here Bella," Carlisle said as he entered with my pain killers, then he attached then to the rest of my liquids.

"Thank you," I said as I quickly became drowsy and sleep over toke me.

**

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AN: Hope you like this chapter, a bit happier and I hope everything is still in character. Oh and _Happy New Year!_


	14. Blood Thirst

**Author's Note: here's chapter 14 enjoy! I'm sorry if some things are out of character, I haven't read Twilight in a while (I know shame on me, I've been busy). But I'm trying and like I said before after I'm finished I will redo the story. And thank you . You reminded me that I am writing for myself, I guess I got lost with all the reviews. And I will look up more information to make this story more realistic. On another point, I know sometimes my updates come out speedy and other days they don't I do try, so thanks for your patience. Keep reading!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

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EPOV (Edward's)

Like Carlisle said I met my brothers by the jeep it didn't take them long to come.

"Hey bro," said Emmett jumping into his Jeep

I nodded and followed suit by getting into the Jeep followed by Jasper.

"We are going to cheer you up, with hunting mountain lions!" boomed Emmett

"It's fine guys I don't want to be out long," I said

"Bella will be fine, she's with Alice," assured Jasper

_That's why I'm worried_ I thought, Alice hadn't taken Bella's yelling that well. And now she was blaming herself it wasn't right, we had all become torn over Bella's eating disorder. If only I was there, but I couldn't think that way because it was in the past at least she was on the road to recovery.

"Dude, come on it's no fun if you're moping around," said Emmett

I decided to suck it up as we pulled into a secluded area and got out of the Jeep.

"Can you smell it?" asked Emmett grinning

I sniffed the air; I smelled nothing but the trees and dirt

"Smell what?" I asked

'_Competition my brother'_ he thought

"Competition my brother," he said out loud

Then he pounced at me, and pushed me to the ground I tried to fight back but he had already won. I was stuck under him, on the ground

"Give up yet?" he asked

"Not fair," I said to him "you cheated,"

"So what if I did," he said then jumped off

I got up and brushed the dirt off my pants

"Man your no fun you know that?" Emmett asked

"Sorry for not being in a fun mood," I snarled

"Whoa Edward calm down," said Jasper

I turned to him and growled, Jasper sent calm over me and I began to un tense

"I'm sorry it's just-" I began

"I know Bella, but you can't help her unless you've hunted it would be horrible if you killed her," Emmett said trying to convince me.

"When did you become so persuasive?" asked Jasper

"Persuasive? I'm only using logic," Emmett said

"Ok when did you begin using logic?" asked Jasper, I began walking away t_he quicker I hunted the quicker I saw Bella _I thought.

"I don't know, I guess when everyone became so serous, nobody is any fun anymore even Alice is in a rotten mood," said Emmett.

"Yeah she is, I wish Bella hadn't yelled at her but maybe Bella doesn't want our help," said Jasper.

I stopped in my tracks and turned towards him

"You think?" I asked it was only above a mumble but they easily heard me

"Yeah, it explains everything why she pushed Alice away, why she didn't tell Renee in the first place," Jasper said.

"But didn't Renee have any clue what was going on?" asked Emmett his tone serous

"Not really she mentioned the thought past through her mind, she didn't understand why Bella became hostile or stayed in. or even why Bella insisted on wearing sweats on the hottest days, but whenever she asked Bella the topic was always changed," Jasper said.

Emmett looked as confused as I felt

'_Renee told me,'_ Jasper thought

"How did you know all this?" asked Emmett

"When Renee came yesterday she was hysterical so I talked to her and she opened up about the past month," Jasper said.

'_Wow,'_ Emmett thought

I ran off into the woods letting the monster within take hold of me, _I didn't want to talk about the past. Wasn't the point too cheer me up, to get my mind off of her? Not that I could never think of Bella, not that I didn't want to think of her. But in this situation, I just didn't want to know I wanted my Bella back._ I thought, and then the smell of mountain lion blew into my nose my mouth seeped with venom with the thought of its neck between my jaws.

I saw it appear in front of me, there went my last strand of humanity as the monster took over me. As fantasy became reality I bit into the lion's neck, I sucked it dry. Still not satisfied, I turned to the scent of the lion's mate I ran up to it instead of killing it admittedly I tackled it and beat it.

I imagined the female lion beneath me was Clarissa as I hit it again I spoke "this is for hurting the only girl I will ever love, and for tearing her ego to shreds. For convincing she meant nothing to me, telling her I never loved her, this is for…" I growled

Suddenly I was on the ground pushed down by Emmett

"That's enough Edward you already killed the poor thing," said Jasper sending waves of calm to me but it didn't help I was outraged. _I wanted to kill; I wanted to end Bella's misery I wanted to take away her pain. And at that moment that meant to kill Clarissa._

"Jasper it's not working," Emmett said

"I know, chill Edward it's only a lion," Jasper said

"Must kill her, I must kill her for Bella," I snarled

"Jasper?" asked Emmett

"I have to get out of here you hold him down I'll get Alice," Jasper said running away.

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**AN: I felt Edward would be feeling a lot of hurt and anger, this was the first time writing anything about they're hunting so I hope it went well. Sorry if it was graphic, I was trying to be descriptive.**


	15. Take Me Away

**Author's Note: I finally updated sorry for taking so long. Hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

APOV (Alice)

The vision of the lion's bloody carcass flashed through my mind I had to go and help. I looked down at Bella's sleeping form, I couldn't leave her.

I ran to the door and called out "Esme," she was there in a flash.

"Yes Alice?" she asked

"Can you watch Bella I have to stop Edward before he does something really stupid," I said.

She nodded "Bella will be safe with me," she assured. As she walked towards Bella's bed and looked down at her peaceful face.

I smiled gently at this sight and jumped out the window of Bella's room and ran after the jeeps trail.

Jasper flashed by me then stopped "Alice be careful," he warned then gave me a quick kiss and ran off.

I ran a few more feet until I reached the opening in the woods. Edward was pushed on the ground by Emmett.

"I need to go!" Edward shouted

"No you don't, Bella doesn't want you to kill Clarissa," said Emmett

"Of course she does," Edward growled viciously

"No I saw the vision Edward she won't be happy, she'll end up even worse!" I said lying, so it wasn't true I hadn't yet seen Bella's reaction which must have meant Edward was wavering between going through with this or not.

Edward looked up his topaz eyes blazing with anger "you're lying," he hissed, he looked dangerous but I knew Emmett had him pinned down so I was safe.

"Ok you're right I'm lying but it's because I already know Bella well enough to know her reaction. Clarissa may have upset Bella but it's because Bella feels the need to put you on a very high pedestal that she will never reach. Those words that Clarissa said are no different than the ones floating inside her head," I said.

Emmett turned to me shocked and Edward's eyes slightly cleared.

"How do you know this?" Edward asked me

"Um…well to be honest I saw her do this," I said which I realized was a bad answer.

"You what?" growled Edward, I wasn't sure at that moment if Emmett was too shocked that he let go of Edward or if Edward was so mad he was able to break through Emmett's superhuman strength.

"I had no choice she had been having doubts for months, I'm sorry Edward I should have told you. But at the time I thought it was fine, better for her to go through this with her mom. I didn't realize Renee could be so blind," I admitted.

"Of course Renee wouldn't have noticed, you hear the way Bella speaks of her being irresponsible!" Edward shouted punching a tree which collapsed under his strength.

"Alice I agree with Edward on this if she needed her breakdown it should have been here," Emmett said watching Edward closely.

"I'm not saying she should have had the breakdown in the first place!" Edward shouted again, good thing we were far, far away from any humans or we would be in trouble.

"I think it's good for her to breakdown, I mean I think she might have taken it too far, but it's healthy," I said.

"Healthy? You call Bella starving herself and pasting on a smile healthy?" Edward asked furious

"Don't forget the blood as well," added Emmett

"You know that bleeding thing was strange," I started "I don't remember Carlisle telling me anything about her neck going to bleed," I said

Edward's eyes filled with fury once more, "Carlisle was in this too?" he asked

I could tell by his expression he felt betrayed Carlisle usually wasn't one to hide things from Edward actually he never hid anything from Edward. He saw Edward as his equal even if we pretended to be his children Edward was always in Carlisle's eyes more of a brother then a son.

"I'm sorry Edward I should have told you," I apologized once more.

"Yeah you should have," Edward said walking off

"Where are you going?" asked Emmett

"He's going back to Bella its all clear now," I said to Emmett. _At least for now_ I thought as Emmett followed Edward.

I sat beside the fallen tree and closed my eyes, and watched Bella. Something I was doing more and more since the start of her breakdown. I know it seemed weird to encourage her breakdown but honestly it was for her wellbeing if she were to keep her emotions pent up she would slowly break. I saw it with Rosalie and Jasper. Rosalie hid her sadness from Emmett not wanting to worry him and Jasper tried to hide his shame of blood lust and his younger days from me. I didn't want Bella to hide this insecurity from Edward or any of us. But perhaps I should have kept a more cautious eye on her, I never in my right mind expected her to become anorexic. It scared me not to see it coming; I only saw her insecurity then nothing.

Nothing could either be classified as good or bad, at the time I leaned towards the good hoping she was keeping herself so preoccupied her thoughts would jump from one to the next. I was deadly wrong of course, as it seemed lately I was more of then I used to be. Maybe it was the people I had become accustomed to maybe they were the ones jumping back and forth between decisions. I shook my head from my thoughts though I never would be rid of them with my vampire mind and choose to run.

Run from the problems right now, I pulled out my phone and pressed speed dial #1.

"Hi Alice," Jasper answered

"Hi Jazzy, how about we take a vacation," I started.

**AN: Don't worry they will return, poor Alice needs to clear her mind. R&R!**


	16. Please Don't Die

**Author's Note: I finally updated sorry for taking so long. Hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

BPOV (Bella's)

My eyes opened up once again to the bright white lights of the hospital room. _How long had I been here, 2, 3, or more days?_ Time had been lost on me as most of my time was spent sleeping. Luckily without those creepy dreams that hunted me as soon as I returned home. I questioned the meaning behind them_, it was strange_. It was if I ate something strange an was getting weird reacurring dreams but I laughed at the thought of actually eating something, because I knew I wouldn't even look at food even now I was restricted to a liquid only diet through my IV.

"Bella?" Edward's voice asked I shifted my tired eyes towards him_, he was true perfection and I was…no don't think like that Bella _I told myself.

"Edward," my voice seemed stronger then I felt

"The liquid diet seems to be working," he said gently smiling, still not reaching his eyes. I missed his crooked smiles now all he gave me was sad ones I felt selfish and stupid. Again I washed those thoughts away, Bella be positive, I told myself.

"Really? I still feel like Emmett's jeep ran me over," I joked

"You want me to get the nurse?" he asked his hand was less than an inch from the nurse's call button.

I shook my head but cringed at the pain on my neck, it took him less than a second to call the nurse.

"Yes?" asked the nurse she sounded like one of the older nurses, I hated the older nurses they gave me weird glares and complained about me when they thought I couldn't hear them.

"Bella needs more pain killers," he said

"I'll be right there," she said, but she didn't sound a bit happy about it

"Edward I was joking," I told him

"Your still in pain aren't you though?" he asked

I glared at him, I was tired of sleeping I was wasting my life in this hospital room "stop babying me," I told him sternly.

"Bella I'm not babying you I'm just worried," he told me rubbing circles in my left hand. At the moment my right hand had the IV I glanced away from the tube sticking out of my wrist.

"I can take care of myself," I knew it was the biggest lie and even with my glare he could see through me like crystal clear glass.

"We all know that's not true," he mumbled

I sighed feeling his sadness I had hurt him more than I ever thought possible, _I may not be super strong like the rest of the Cullen's but I sure could break his heart._ I frowned at my stupidity how could I break him down like this the one I truly loved at this moment he seemed like the lamb while I stood tall as the machostic lion.

"I'm sorry Edward," I apologized "I'm so tired of being here, and I understand I need help but I always doubt myself. I've always been the girl no one wants, while everyone was out with friends each night I was at home studying or helping Renee through a tough breakup. So when it suddenly became my turn I never realized it would be such a shock. I've never been in love Edward, not even close so I guess that's why I keep having doubts," I admitted looking down at our tangled hands.

"Don't doubt my love for you Bella, I know I left you once but it was the biggest mistake of my lif-existence and it will never happen again I swear," he promised lifting my chin up so our eyes could meet.

I smiled up through tears I hadn't realized I shedded as he leaned down to kiss me. A kiss that proved his love for me, I sighed into the kiss as always wanting more. At that moment I realized this had been the first time I had kissed him since I returned almost three weeks ago. This only made me more desperate the kiss progressed but then as always he pulled away first.

"I missed that," I said as he pulled away

"Me two love," he said grinning his crooked smile at that moment everything felt perfect. Nothing out of place I almost forgot I was in the hospital until the nurse entered.

"Pain killers," she stated entering with an IV bag

"False alarm," Edward sated before she could hook the dreaded things up to me.

She rolled her eyes mumbling something about 'ungrateful teenagers' and left.

"I don't get why she doesn't like me," I mumbled

Edward rubbed more soothing circles on my pale skin, "she doesn't hate you love, she just hates watching you do this to yourself as we all do. You remind her of her daughter she lost to bulimia, she never recognized the signs," he said.

"That won't be me Edward; I just got a little out of hand. Everything will be back to normal I promise," I said sincerely.

"As normal as a human loving a vampire?" he asked

"Yes as normal as a human loving a vampire," I smiled glad he was able to joke at a moment like this.

Edward returned the smile he looked happy, at that moment Rosalie entered a look of panic on her beautiful face.

"What's wrong?" I asked as the same look quickly spread across Edward's face before either of them could enter Emmett answered.

"Alice and Jasper left," he said he sounded sad, never had I seen him look so fragile. But it was understandable Alice and Jasper was family.

I asked the question on everyone's mind, "why?" I asked tearing up "is it because of me?" I asked the hot tears rolling down my cheeks.

"No sweetie Alice just has a lot on her mind right now," Esme said comfortingly I hadn't even realized she entered. She wiped my tears away with her cold fingers but they were quickly replaced with more.

"It must be me," I kept repeating I couldn't help it even as Edward kept saying it wasn't I felt filled with doubt. The walls were closing in and I felt as if I couldn't get the air in my lungs fast enough, I heard the beeps on the heart monitor beside me beep rapidly then my world crashed around me once more.

EPOV (Edward's)

"It must be me," Bella mumbled

"Of course not love, I was annoying her earlier and it must have set her off," I said but Bella kept continuing.

"It must be me," she repeated I grabbed her chin softly to pull her eyes back to mine but they looked lifeless as if she was in some sort of daze. Then her heart began beating quicker and she was wheezing, the heart monitor began beeping in different patterns.

"Get Carlisle!" I shouted Rosalie stood there shocked as Emmett and Esme left, "now!" I shouted

Bella's eyes fell back and her heart beat slowed "no not now! Please Bella stay with me!" I shouted. Her heart beat was slowing down until it was barley there then all gone together.

"What happened?" asked Carlisle as he entered but as soon as he saw Bella he got into doctor mode.

"Emmett oxygen!" he called to Emmett

Emmett left the room and quickly returned with some oxygen

"Esme please get some nurses," he said

Esme nodded and came back with the nurse before and a younger one, both stood still with fear when they saw Bella then quickly got back to work.

"What do you need Dr. Cullen?" asked the younger nurse

"Stacy, grab the AED we need to restart her heart, Lauren please do CPR," both woman nodded

Lauren the older one began CPR on Bella _'please don't die'_ she kept repeating

Stacy appeared with the AED and plugged it in "ready?" she asked Lauren who nodded. The AED sent a jolt of electricity into Bella's body pushing her chest up. After a few more tries Bella's pulse returned and she began breathing on her own. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and thanked both nurses.

Bella's eyes opened "where am I?" she asked

TBC

**A/N: I nearly cried Bella! Hope you enjoyed it, R&R please!**


	17. Damages

**Author's Note: What happened to Bella? Read and find out! And sorry for late updates!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

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Chapter 17 (Damages)

EPOV (Edward's)

_Bella's eyes opened "where am I?" she asked_

"You're in the hospital, sweetie," Esme answered placing her hand over Bella's left.

Bella's expression turned confused, "why?" she asked

Rosalie let out a growl "are you playing games with us Bella?" she asked angrily

"Who's Bella?" she asked frightened followed by another "where am I?"

Carlisle walked over to her and checked her sight and reactions.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked scared, I couldn't understand what was going on. I knew she wasn't playing games Bella just didn't do that. _But had something happened? _I know she was dead for a few painful, long, agonizing seconds _was it possible it caused brain damage?_

"She seems to have temporary amnesia," he concluded, I sighed it could have been worse.

"Who are you?" Bella asked Carlisle

"Your doctor Bella," he answered smiling warmly

"Who are they?" she asked, my heart fell my precious Bella had forgotten me

"That's your boyfriend and his family," Carlisle answered calmly

"Boyfriend?" Bella questioned, Carlisle didn't answer it wasn't a question that needed to be answered as she went back to the beginning. "Where am I?" she asked again

Her big brown eyes looked scared for one of the first times, they were no longer lifeless. I looked sadly down at her; I knew my Bella was somewhere deep inside her. Somehow I would be able to recover her memories of us; our love shouldn't be ended by some small trifle thing like temporary amnesia.

"How long?" I asked, Carlisle knew I meant the amnesia

"A couple of days, a week at most. It's better to start her out slow and let her figure out the rest," he said.

I nodded, I waited until they exited the room to start, "you're Bella I'm Edward," I said to her starting with what Carlisle liked to call the Tarzan routine.

"Edward," she spoke the name her eyes slightly lighted up then dimmed.

"Right and your Bella," I told her

"Bella," she mumbled her brow creased, I waited to see if she remembered something. "Bella," she repeated followed by another 'where am I?' good thing I had lots of patience or I would be annoyed. I could sit here for days and watch and help her until she was my Bella again.

"The hospital, you're Bella and I'm Edward," I told her

"Do I know you Edward?" she asked

"Yes, I'm your boyfriend, Bella," I said

"Why do you keep repeating my name?" Bella asked

"So you remember your name," I told her

"I know my-where am I?" she asked

"You're in the hospital…" I started _'Edward that's enough you can't push her let her sleep'_ Carlisle told me "don't worry your safe just sleep," I told her

Bella looked confused but nodded, shutting her eyes, "will you stay?" she asked for a second I thought she remembered but then she said "for some reason you make me feel safe,"

I smiled at that _she was still my Bella deep down_

"Of course. My love." I told her but she was already asleep. I watched her sleep; I didn't blame Alice for what happened though I wanted to. No one was to blame _but that damn Clarissa_ I thought. No I shouldn't think like that or I would get all worked up like earlier. I had to stay calm around Bella I couldn't hurt her more than what she was going through now. I placed my right hand over her left and intertwined our fingers her body temperature had raised from its previous chilly state and her previous body heat had returned. If I waited, I knew Bella would return to me all I had was time.

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APOV (Alice's)

I wasn't that far into my journey when the vision hit me, I knew where it was taking place the white room aka the hospital room Bella was in. I heard a high screech then nothing _I killed Bella_ I realized. She panicked and her frail body couldn't take it, she collapsed in Edward's arms _she was gone_.

I sniffled and fell to the ground and dry cried _I killed Bella, I killed my best friend, I killed Edward's only hope._ I ruined everything for my brother, a happy future something to look forward to was all gone.

"Alice! What's wrong?" asked Jasper

"I killed Bella," I told him

Jasper suddenly reflected my emotions, guilt, sadness, and regret.

"I'm sure that's not right, call Edward and ask him," Jasper suggested

The thought brought another vision as I reached for my phone, Bella was safe but something just wasn't right.

**

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A/N: I know it's short hope you enjoyed!**


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